


Until I Find You Again

by ZairaA



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Bathtubs, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, This Is Kind Of Tragic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-05
Updated: 2013-06-05
Packaged: 2017-12-14 01:02:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/830899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZairaA/pseuds/ZairaA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur and Merlin spend their anniversary in a fancy hotel suite. But not everything is as it seems.</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	Until I Find You Again

**Author's Note:**

> If you have triggers or squicks there is a WARNING at the end of the fic - it's a SPOILER though. You can choose for yourself.
> 
> Many thanks to [typewritertip](archiveofourown.org/users/typewritertip) for the quick beta.

When Arthur walks into the Mandarin Oriental he turns heads. With his dirty blond hair and perfectly tailored suit, it doesn't even need the sky blue eyes, hidden behind mirrored sunglasses. The confident stride screams, ''I've got it all.'' 

And it is true, he does have it all. At thirty-four Arthur Pendragon has everything anyone could ever want. He finished his degree at the top of his class and worked his way up, so no one can say he got the job as CEO of his father's publishing house by riding on connections alone. He married his high-school sweetheart and they've adopted two kids. He has a nice house and a nice car and even a fucking dog. What he doesn't have, though, is time. Time to push away all the demands on him, the responsibilities for other people's lives. Time to be just Arthur. 

Tonight though will be only about that. Only about him and Merlin. 

He picks up the key to the suite he booked in advance months ago and the concierge gives him a discrete little smile, saying, ''Your partner has already checked in, Sir.''

Arthur nods his thanks and takes the elevator up to the third floor of the historic building. The carpet is plush under his feet, swallowing every sound, and the lighting is subdued. The Mandarin Oriental is a place of luxury and comfort and, once a year, it's theirs. It can be difficult to organize - Arthur and Merlin both have busy schedules - but they have always managed to have this one night to themselves. It's their anniversary. The night they met all those years ago.

Arthur stops at a mirror half way down the corridor and runs a hand through his artfully ruffled hair. He opens another button of his shirt and takes a deep breath. Merlin is waiting for him and Arthur's heart is beating at that thought, just like it did when he first laid eyes on the man who will always be the love of his life.

He lets himself in with the keycard, smiling when he hears soft piano music drifting from further inside. He shrugs off his suit jacket and drops it over the back of an armchair, looking around for Merlin. The door to the bedroom is open, the soft light from the bedside table illuminating what can only be described as a exquisite display of decadence. The bed is elaborately carved and polished cherry wood, covered with dark red damask and an insane amount of throw pillows. It's huge, and Arthur can already see Merlin stretched out on it, his pale skin a beautiful contrast in the golden light. 

The bed is untouched though, and Arthur's eyes wander to the door on the opposite side of the room, which must lead to the bathroom. A soft glow filters through the gap and Arthur walks over, stopping outside to listen. 

''Merlin?'' he calls quietly.

''Come in,'' he can hear Merlin's voice, sultry and promising, and Arthur doesn't wait for a second invitation, he opens the door and that's when his breath leaves him.

There, in the light of a few dozen candles, Merlin lies stretched out in a sea of bubbles, skin gleaming, wet and softly pink from the heat. His black hair is damp and already starts curling around his ridiculous ears and at the nape of his neck. The bubbles hide most of his slim and lanky frame, but he's put one long leg up on the rim of the tub, his toes pressing against the golden faucet, and the soapy foam just graces his dark, stiffening nipples. There are two flutes of champagne resting on the marble beside Merlin, still untouched. 

Arthur takes it all in, this gracious display Merlin has arranged for him, but nothing makes his heartbeat accelerate like the smile on Merlin's gorgeous mouth. The mouth Arthur dreams of almost every night, wrapped around his cock, open in a cry of ecstasy or even just whispering filthy endearments. He wants to go over and kiss that sinful mouth, slide his tongue in to rediscover its delicious taste, but he holds back. They have the whole night and Arthur wants to savour it. 

Merlin's eyes roam over him like in a caress, then he whispers, ''Why don't you join me?''

But Arthur wants to look a little longer, wants to commit this sight to memory so he can pull it out on long distance flights and in mind numbing board meetings. He leans back against the wall, his eyes never leaving Merlin as he opens his cuff links and starts rolling up the sleeves. Just as expected, Merlin zeros in on Arthur's lightly tanned forearms. Arthur knows he has a thing for them. He smiles a little smugly at Merlin, and that wrench just tilts his head, stretching and exposing his long pale neck, giving Arthur that 'come hither' look that gets him. Every. Fucking. Time.

His eyes are glued to Merlin, as Arthur slips out of his shoes and toes off the socks. Bare feet carry him to the tub like he is drawn in by a siren call - and sometimes he thinks that is exactly what Merlin is, a magical creature that has bound Arthur to him, equal parts beautiful and dangerous.

He places his hands on both sides of the tub, leaning over Merlin, their faces so close he can feel Merlin's breath on his dampening skin. He can't resist any longer then, the need too strong to tease, and so Arthur pushes forward, trapping Merlin in a conquering kiss. Merlin's mouth is soft and warm and yielding, and Arthur is swept away by a flood of emotion, because this, right here, feels like home.

Merlin moans into him, wet hands clawing into his hair and into his shirt. He drags Arthur closer, pressing his wet, naked body against him, and Arthur tumbles, lifting first one than the other leg up, until he is in the tub with Merlin, still fully clothed, and pressing the other man down against the polished marble. 

''Arthur,'' Merlin gasps between hot, wet kisses, ''Arthur... missed you... missed you so much.''

And Arthur agrees because he will never get enough of this, there will never be anyone else for him. He nibbles at Merlin's throat while his fingers find his nipples, tweaking them to elicit another moan from Merlin. He can feel the other man's erection pressing urgently against his thigh, and Arthur really needs to get out of these trousers, because he wants to feel Merlin – skin to skin.

It seems Merlin is with him on this, because he claws at his belt, groaning, ''God, get these off, will you?''

''Impatient, are we?'' Arthur drawls, smiling down at a pink cheeked Merlin, whose face just creases into a glare. 

''Fine,'' Merlin says, raising one eyebrow. ''Be like that. If you're too lazy to get naked you can blow me instead.'' With that said, he lifts himself up from under Arthur, placing his arse on the marble side of the tub, bringing his stiff cock right in front of Arthur's face.

Merlin leans back on his arms and looks down at him with a grin, and he is so gorgeous like that, all wet and soapy, glistening in the candlelight, a lewd angel smiling at him devilishly. Merlin's cock is full, dark red and delicious looking and Arthur leans forward, softly blowing on it, making Merlin shiver. A quiet, long-drawn whine comes from above him and Merlin tenses when Arthur licks him from the balls up to the head. He can't wait any longer then and takes hold of Merlin's hips in an almost punishing grip. He sucks Merlin in to the root, making himself almost gag on his girth, loving it when Merlin's hand finds the back of his head, pulling at his hair and pressing his groin into Arthur's face. 

He wants to swallow Merlin whole, wants to eat him up and devour him, claim him to forever be Arthur's. That thought makes him moan, and Merlin trembles, clamping his thighs around Arthur's head. Arthur slides his hands back to Merlin's arse, digging his fingers into the crack between the cheeks as he sucks harder, cheeks hollowing and tongue lapping at Merlin's hard flesh. 

''Arthur... Arthur... Arthur...'' Merlin chants in despair when Arthur hums, and he bows forward, clawing at Arthur's head and shirt and arms as he spills himself down Arthur's throat in long spurts. He whimpers softly when Arthur swallows, carefully letting Merlin's softening cock glide out of his mouth, licking at it until Merlin shivers even more and pulls Arthur up for another, searing kiss.

For a moment Merlin just holds Arthur to him, dripping wet in his shirt and trousers, while Merlin is naked, a contrast that is strangely arousing. Arthur is still hard like a nail, but he can't complain about this naked, wet Merlin clinging to him like he might be drowning.

''I love you,'' Merlin whispers softly against Arthur's ear and Arthur holds him a little tighter then. 

When Merlin pulls back there is the most beautiful smile on his face, the one Arthur just knows is only for him. Merlin looks at him coyly and lets his long fingers trail down over Arthur's shirt-covered chest, making sure to rub his stiffening nipples in the process. Arthur's cock impossibly hardens further, straining against the fly of his wet trousers, and Merlin cups him, squeezing him lightly and making Arthur's eyes roll back. He closes his eyes and tries to breathe, tries to keep himself from coming by Merlin's soft touch alone, and it's a near thing when Merlin leans forward, whispering into his ear again.

''I want you to fuck me. I've been thinking about it for all this time. It's been so long, and I need you to fill me up and take me, to pound my arse and make me yours again.''

Arthur groans and grips Merlin hard, biting into the crook where Merlin's neck meets his shoulder, mumbling against his skin, ''God, Merlin, for fuck's sake... I love you so much.'' 

They peel Arthur out of his clothes then in a joint effort, touching and kissing and only perfunctorily drying themselves with fluffy white towels before they stumble back into the bedroom and tumble on the beast of a bed. 

He was right, Arthur thinks, Merlin's pale body looks beautiful on the sheets and Arthur can't help from touching him all over, letting his hands explore where his mouth follows to claim. He lets his lips trail from Merlin's neck, over his collarbones and down his chest, then further along the soft black trail leading to the twitching but still satiated cock. Arthur lovingly kisses the crown but then moves on. He rolls on his stomach between Merlin's legs, hoisting them up a little to give himself excess to the sweet, curled entrance, hidden between pale cheeks. Nuzzling Merlin's balls, Arthur spreads Merlin and playfully bites and nibbles around that enticing orifice. Merlin's ragged breaths are loud and in the room, he's gasping and groaning, and then he honest to god _whines_ when Arthur's tongue starts lapping at him. 

Merlin becomes pliant and almost languid, offering himself to Arthur's ministrations as his muscles relax further and his hole opens up to the teasing tip of Arthur's tongue, alternating now and then with broad, wet strokes. 

''Please Arthur, please,'' he begs almost incoherently and, while Arthur could have buried himself forever in Merlin's sweet arse, his cock is throbbing for release. He looks around and sees on the bedside table that Merlin has really set up everything. He reaches for the bottle of lube and the condom, ripping the package and rolling the flimsy shield down his shaft with a sigh of relief. He squeezes the bottle for a generous amount of lube and starts with coating himself before he slips a finger into Merlin's wet hole. Merlin's relaxed already and can easily take two, and Arthur savours the feeling of Merlin's channel gripping him, while he lies splayed before him, eyes half-closed and mouth open. He is a perfect picture of debauchery and Arthur takes a moment longer, just to stare. 

''You're beautiful,'' he whispers and swallows, ''gonna love you so good. Want you so much, Merlin, so fucking much.''

Merlin raises his legs a little further then, an invitation if Arthur ever saw one, and he gives in. Dragging his fingers over that spot inside Merlin one last time, he pulls them out and shuffles forward, lining himself up. When he sinks into Merlin, it feels like heaven, if heaven was hot and burning and oh so tight. Merlin moans helplessly and digs his heels into Arthur's arse, as if he is trying to pull him in further, though Arthur is already in to the hilt. He presses his forehead against Merlin's for a moment, panting harshly and willing himself to last. Then he starts to move.

It has been so long, but they know the rhythm, they know each other so very well and they fit, like two sides of a coin, melted together and impossible to part. Merlin looks at him, his wide blue eyes full of adoration, as Arthur moves inside him, slowly, almost too slow to bear. 

''Let go, Arthur,'' Merlin says then. ''Let go for me.''

And Arthur groans, picking up speed, hoisting up Merlin's legs over his shoulders and almost bending him in two. 

''Touch yourself,'' Arthur gasps, gripping Merlin by the hips and thrusting in with long, hard strokes. He watches as Merlin's hand slides down his torso and grips his hardening shaft. So fucking beautiful. Merlin has his head thrown back, his body a long graceful line, his hand pulling at his full cock and Arthur lets go, pumping into Merlin with wild abandon.

''Fuck... so hot... so fucking... beautiful... Merlin... love you, oh god... so much...''

When Merlin comes, his hole is gripping Arthur like a vice and Arthur cries out, sobbing with his release as his balls pump his seed into Merlin's open channel. He holds on to Merlin while he shudders, like Merlin is his life belt and Arthur cast away on open sea. The moment stretches into eternity, until Arthur finally collapses, burying his face in the crook of Merlin's neck and gasping for air while he tries to keep himself form falling apart into a thousand tiny pieces.

*

He is lying next to Merlin, the sheets pulled up over their hips for some warmth, now that the sweat is cooling on their skin. Arthur is on his side, face still buried in Merlin's neck, lazily carding his fingers through the soft hair on his chest. 

''I'm glad you could make it,'' Merlin says with a smile in his voice. 

''Of course I did,'' Arthur scoffs, but his tender caress belies the casual tone, then he adds quietly, ''There is nothing that could ever make me miss this.'' He nuzzles at Merlin's ridiculous, adorable ears. ''I was more worried about you, though, I thought you might not be able to get away from the hospital.''

''No,'' Merlin says, shaking his head with a sigh. ''It's not that bad at the moment.'' 

He turns towards Arthur then, and he can see a little guilt in Merlin's eyes, like there always is. Merlin is just that kind of a person, kind and caring and too damn selfless, never asking something for himself. And as much as Arthur hates it sometimes, he loves him for it too, and it's not as if Arthur is doing so much better. 

''So... the kids are with Gwen?'' Merlin asks, a sadness lingering in his smile that makes Arthur's heart ache. 

''Yeah.''

''How is she?''

''She is fine.'' Arthur pulls Merlin closer then. ''Do you really want to talk about Gwen, right now?''

Merlin laughs, a sound Arthur has been longing to hear. ''No,'' he says and his eyes have that mischievous glint that made Arthur fall so hard back then. They kiss, soft and gentle, taking their time to taste, melting into each other until everything else bleeds away and there are just Merlin and Arthur, as it always should have been.

*

Arthur wakes up as he always does, his inner clock long since set to an early hour. Merlin is still sleeping beside him, curled up on his stomach and with his hair standing on end. For a long time Arthur just stares at him, at the full lips, the slender nose, and the long black lashes fanning out towards Merlin's sharp cheekbones. He is so beautiful in his sleep, a sprite that Arthur longs to catch and that will never really be his.

He gets up and with lingering glances to the bed starts getting dressed. It's still early but maybe it would be easier to just let Merlin sleep. Not face the inevitable moment of truth, when they look at each other and know that however much they don't want to, they have to say good-bye.

The wandering rectangle of light from the high eastern window reaches Merlin, and Arthur stands stunned and aching at the way the rays tangle up around his face and body. Not for the first time he wants to just take Merlin and walk away from everything, but he knows he can't. They both can't. Trapped in their lives and the responsibilities they took on long before they knew there was something like this. 

Merlin blinks then, scrunching up his nose in an adorable display of sleepiness. He takes in the empty bed beside him and there is an immediate change in his demeanour, his eyes starting to roam over the hotel room until they find Arthur standing in the door to the bathroom.

They wordlessly look at each other for a long time, then Merlin swallows and with a wobbly smile asks, ''Already?''

Arthur's throat is closing up, because leaving is the last thing he ever wants to do. ''I thought it would be easier,'' he says quietly.

''It's never going to be easy, Arthur,'' Merlin says gently, ''No matter what you do.''

''I know,'' Arthur whispers brokenly, ''I just wish-''

''Don't.'' Merlin holds his hand up, and Arthur can see that it's shaking a little. ''Don't start with that, Arthur, we've been over this. Things are the way they are. You are married to Gwen, and you have two beautiful children, and I-''

''You have Freya,'' Arthur says bitterly, ''even if she only recognizes you half of the time.''

''Don't be like that, Arthur,'' Merlin admonishes him, but there is no sharpness in his words. They have both been at that point, many times over the years, and it always falls to the other to be the reasonable one. 

''Come here.'' 

Merlin holds his arms out and Arthur can't help but comply. He walks over and sits down on the bed, pulling Merlin towards him, breathing him in. It's the siren call all over again and it will keep pulling at him for the days and months to come until they find each other again next year, here at these crossroads, for just one night.

 

THE END

 

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING for those who want to be spoilt: Arthur and Merlin are married to other people.


End file.
